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jokes of the day:
Confessions:
A priest and a rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.
After a while, the priest put down his book and opened a conversation by saying, "I know that in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork... but have you really never even tasted it?"
The rabbi closed his newspaper and responded, "I must tell you the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."
The rabbi had his turn of interrogation: "I know that in your religion, you're supposed to be celibate, but..."
The priest interjected, "Yes, I know what you are going to ask, and yes, I have succumbed to temptation once or twice."
The two resumed their reading. It was silent for a while.
Then the rabbi peeked around his newspaper with a smile and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"
* * *
Simple Mathematics:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have
certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am
otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you
will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you
receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my
18-year old secretary. I'll be home before midnight.
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed
letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this
letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year
old pool boy. Since you are an accountant, you will
appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes
into 18. Therefore don't wait up.
Your Wife
* * *
What is Sex?:
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, 'Daddy, what is sex?'
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, 'Why did you ask this question?'
The little girl replied, 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.'
* * *
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