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jokes of the day:
What is Sex?:
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, 'Daddy, what is sex?'
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, 'Why did you ask this question?'
The little girl replied, 'Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.'
. . .
Big Tits Is Everything:
The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what I looked for in a woman.
Naturally I replied, "Big tits."
He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."
So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."
"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"
He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big."
. . .
Afraid Of Bees:
A fellow was in the market to buy some acreage. He found just what he was looking for, but it was a little expensive. During an inspection of the property, however, he found a hive of bees.
He told the owner that he was deathly afraid of bees and there was no way he could consider this piece of land. The landowner assured him that the bees were completely harmless, but the buyer would have no part of it.
Finally, the landowner made an offer. The buyer would allow himself to be tied to a tree for an hour, nude, under the nest. So sure of the friendliness of his bees was the farmer that ifonebee were to sting him, the farm would be his for free. The buyer thought it over and decided it was worth the risk.
An hour later, the farmer walked out to the tree and saw the poor buyer slumped over in his bindings. Fearing the worst, he ran up to him and asked him if he had been stung.
The city fellow looked up and weakly said, "No, but doesn't that calf have a mother?"
. . .
jelking
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