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jokes of the day:
Who Made Man:
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were arguing over what type of engineer god was.
The mechanical engineer pointed to the body's intricate skeletal/muscular system and proudly stated that god must have been a mechanical engineer.
The electrical engineer said that was okay, but he felt that the brain and nervous system were of such incredible design and complexity that god had to be an electrical engineer
The mechanical engineer and the electrical engineer both looked at the civil engineer, who was smiling at their discussion. "I suppose you think god was a civil engineer," they said.
"Of course," replied the civil engineer. "Who else would run a sewer system through a major recreational area?"
Push-ups:
A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night.
The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrant!".
The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter."
The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!
When the Fly Goes Down Three Inches:
There is a fish in a lake watching a fly 3 inches above the
water. The fish thinks if that fly goes down three inches
I'll get it.
Meanwhile on the bank a bear is watching the fish and the
fly and thinks, if that fly goes down three inches the fish
will jump for the fly and I'll get the fish.
While behind the bear on a hill a hunter is watching
everything and thinks that if that fly goes down three
inches, the fish will jump for the fly, and the bear will go
for the fish, and I'll shoot the bear.
Behind the hunter though, is a mouse. The mouse thinks that
if the fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly,
the bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, and
I'll get the hunter's cheese.
Now stalking the mouse is a cat, the cat thinks that if the
fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly, the
bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, the
mouse will get the hunter's cheese and I'll get the mouse...
So the fly goes down three inches and the fish gets the fly,
the bear gets the fish, the hunter gets the bear, the mouse
gets the cheese, but the cat misses the mouse and falls into
the water and drowns.
The moral of the story is for every fly that goes down three
inches there is a wet pussy.
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