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jokes of the day:
Your Mother Insulted Me:
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother
insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles
away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened
it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come
in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice,
don't forget to give this letter to George.'
Who Made Man:
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were arguing over what type of engineer god was.
The mechanical engineer pointed to the body's intricate skeletal/muscular system and proudly stated that god must have been a mechanical engineer.
The electrical engineer said that was okay, but he felt that the brain and nervous system were of such incredible design and complexity that god had to be an electrical engineer
The mechanical engineer and the electrical engineer both looked at the civil engineer, who was smiling at their discussion. "I suppose you think god was a civil engineer," they said.
"Of course," replied the civil engineer. "Who else would run a sewer system through a major recreational area?"
Afraid Of Bees:
A fellow was in the market to buy some acreage. He found just what he was looking for, but it was a little expensive. During an inspection of the property, however, he found a hive of bees.
He told the owner that he was deathly afraid of bees and there was no way he could consider this piece of land. The landowner assured him that the bees were completely harmless, but the buyer would have no part of it.
Finally, the landowner made an offer. The buyer would allow himself to be tied to a tree for an hour, nude, under the nest. So sure of the friendliness of his bees was the farmer that ifonebee were to sting him, the farm would be his for free. The buyer thought it over and decided it was worth the risk.
An hour later, the farmer walked out to the tree and saw the poor buyer slumped over in his bindings. Fearing the worst, he ran up to him and asked him if he had been stung.
The city fellow looked up and weakly said, "No, but doesn't that calf have a mother?"
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