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jokes of the day:
Mirror, Mirror ... On the Wall ...:
After living in a remote wilderness all his life, an old
codger decided it
was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he
picks up a mirror
and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How
about that!
Here's a picture of my daddy."
He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered
his wife, Lizzy,
didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every
morning before
leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.
Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the
barn. One day
after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the
mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the old
gal he's
runnin' after."
Suitable punishment:
Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia.
One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.
"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."
The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.
He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.
Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"
The Mariner's Wife:
A Mariner was out in a rowboat with his wife when she fell
overboard. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't find her,
so he rowed back home.
The next day, his friend showed up at the dock and said,
"Clyde, I found your wife. She got tangled up in my trap
lines and she's got thirty lobsters sticking to her. What
should I do?"
"Quick, pull off the lobsters and set her again!"
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